Romance and investment scams take people's savings by first winning their trust, so by the time money is asked for, saying no feels like betraying a friend. This guide explains, in plain English, how these scams usually unfold, the signs to look for in your own messages or in a loved one's behaviour, and exactly what to do if money has already gone. It is written for members of the public, families supporting an older relative, and very small businesses whose owners are approached online. Everything here is based on advice from UK and US regulators and police reporting services. For organisations, see the Authorised Push Payment (APP) Fraud Guide.
Key takeaways
- Never send money to someone you have not met in person. The US Federal Trade Commission (FTC) and UK police both give this as the single most important rule, whatever the reason given.
- Love and investing do not mix. When a new online friend or partner starts offering investment tips, regulators treat it as a scam pattern, not a coincidence.
- Check any investment firm yourself. In the UK, look the firm up on the Financial Conduct Authority (FCA) Firm Checker and use only the contact details listed there.
- Act fast if you have paid. Call your bank straight away (dial 159 in the UK), then report to Report Fraud or, in Scotland, Police Scotland on 101.
- Expect a second scam. Anyone who contacts you offering to recover lost money for a fee is very likely another fraudster.
How these scams work
A romance scam is when someone builds a fake relationship with you online so that you will later send them money. An investment scam is when someone persuades you to put money into a fake or worthless investment. The two are now often combined: the scammer becomes a friend or partner first, then introduces an "opportunity". The US Commodity Futures Trading Commission (CFTC) calls this a relationship investment scam, sometimes known by the slang term "pig butchering", because the victim is "fattened up" with attention before the money is taken. The CFTC says criminal groups using this method stole more than $3.5 billion in 2023.
Most cases follow a similar path:
- First contact: a dating app match, a friend request, or a "wrong number" text that turns into a friendly chat. The CFTC notes that contact often starts with a misdirected message.
- Moving the conversation: they quickly ask to move to email, phone or a private messaging app, away from the site's safety tools.
- Building trust: messages several times a day, declarations of love, shared "plans for the future". This can last weeks or months.
- The ask: a sudden emergency (medical bills, a visa, travel costs, being stuck abroad), or an investment that they say has made them rich.
- Escalation: more requests, often with the person becoming upset or pushy if you hesitate.
In the investment version, you are pointed to a trading website or app that looks professional. The CFTC explains that victims are often allowed a small withdrawal at first to build confidence. Later the account is "locked", and you are told to pay fees, "taxes" or identity checks before you can get your money out. Paying never releases the money.
Investment scams also arrive without any romance: a cold call, an advert on social media, or a "special" offer for you alone. The FCA warns that many involve things it does not regulate, such as gold, wine or land, so you would have no protection even if the offer were genuine.
Warning signs to look for
No single sign proves a scam, but two or three together should make you stop. The table brings together the signs given by the FTC, UK police and the FCA.
| What you notice | Why it matters |
|---|---|
| They want to leave the dating site or app quickly | Off the platform, the site cannot spot or block them |
| They say it is true love very early | Strong emotion makes it harder for you to question requests |
| They can never meet or video call, with a new excuse each time | The photos are usually someone else's |
| They work on an oil rig, in the military abroad, or for an international organisation | The FTC lists these as common cover stories that explain why they are far away |
| They ask for money for medical bills, a visa, travel or fees | Classic romance scam requests |
| They ask you to pay with gift cards, wire transfer or cryptocurrency | These payments are hard or impossible to reverse |
| They offer to teach you trading or share a "tip" from a relative | The CFTC treats this as a key sign of a relationship investment scam |
| Returns sound too good to be true or are "guaranteed" | The FCA says if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is |
| You are told you have been specially chosen and must keep it secret | Secrecy stops friends and family from warning you |
| You are pushed to act fast, with a bonus or deadline | Pressure stops you from checking |
Two simple checks help. First, do a reverse image search on their profile photo (search engines let you search with an image rather than words). Both the FTC and UK police recommend this, because stolen photos often appear under other names. Second, search their story online, for example their stated job plus the word "scammer", to see if others have reported the same script.
Check before you invest
If anyone, friend or stranger, suggests an investment, do these checks before any money moves:
- Look the firm up yourself. In the UK, use the FCA Firm Checker. Type the FCA web address in directly rather than clicking a link in a message, since scammers send look-alike links.
- Match the details. Check that the firm reference number (FRN), phone number, email and website match the Firm Checker entry. Some scammers copy the name and number of a real firm; the FCA calls these clone firms. Only use contact details from the register.
- Check the FCA Warning List. This lists firms the FCA knows are running scams or operating without permission.
- If the details are missing or "out of date", call the FCA consumer helpline on 0800 111 6768 before going any further.
- In the US, the CFTC suggests checking registration at cftc.gov/check, and checking how long a trading website has existed using ICANN's domain lookup tool. A site created a few weeks ago is a warning sign.
- Ask what you would lose. If the product is not regulated (for example, many crypto, gold, wine or land schemes), the FCA says you are not protected if it goes wrong.
If you are being asked to invest in cryptocurrency, read the Cryptocurrency Scam Awareness Guide as well.
If you are worried about someone you love
Families are often the first to notice. UK police guidance lists signs that someone may be caught in a romance scam:
- Secrecy: they are secretive about the relationship or make excuses for why their partner never video calls or visits.
- Strong feelings fast: they talk about deep commitment to someone they met recently online.
- Defensiveness: they become hostile or withdraw when asked about the partner.
- Money moving: they have sent, or plan to send, money to someone they have never met, sometimes by taking out loans or drawing on a pension.
How you raise it matters. Victims often feel embarrassed, and arguing can push them closer to the scammer, who may already have warned them that family "will not understand". Try these steps:
- Ask open questions ("How did you meet? Have you seen them on video?") rather than saying "it is a scam" straight away.
- Offer to do a reverse image search together.
- Agree a simple rule: no money to anyone you have not met in person.
- Suggest a call to their bank together. Banks see these scams every day.
- Remind them it is not their fault. UK police say directly that victims should not feel ashamed, because many people are affected.
What to do if it has happened
Speed matters most in the first hours. Work through this list in order:
- Stop sending money and stop replying. Do not tell the scammer you know; just stop.
- Call your bank immediately. In the UK you can dial 159 to reach most banks safely. Ask them to stop or recall the payment. If you paid with a gift card, wire transfer or card, the FTC advises contacting that company straight away to ask for a refund.
- Ask about reimbursement. In the UK, the Payment Systems Regulator's reimbursement rules cover most bank transfers made by Faster Payments or CHAPS between UK accounts, and the regulator says most victims should be reimbursed within five business days. Ask your bank how the rules apply to your payment.
- Report it. In England, Wales and Northern Ireland, report to Report Fraud at reportfraud.police.uk or on 0300 123 2040. In Scotland, call Police Scotland on 101. If it was an investment firm, also report it to the FCA on 0800 111 6768. In the US, report to ReportFraud.ftc.gov and the FBI's Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3) at ic3.gov.
- Report the profile to the dating site or social network so they can remove it.
- Keep everything: messages, profile names, phone numbers, website addresses, and payment receipts.
- Protect your identity. If you shared documents or bank details, UK police suggest checking your credit file and considering Cifas protection. The Identity Theft Recovery Guide walks through the next steps.
- Change passwords on any account you discussed or gave access to, and turn on two-step verification.
Beware the recovery scam
After a loss, you may be contacted by a "recovery" company, a lawyer, or even someone claiming to be from the FCA or police, offering to get your money back for a fee. The FCA calls these recovery room scams. They often know details of your loss (a real firm would not), use webmail addresses, and ask for "tax" or "admin" fees upfront. The FCA says to stop all contact and never pay. The FBI gives the same warning about anyone offering to recover lost funds.
Where to get help
| Where you are | Who to contact | For what |
|---|---|---|
| UK (any) | Your bank via 159 | Stopping payments and reimbursement claims |
| England, Wales, NI | Report Fraud: reportfraud.police.uk, 0300 123 2040 | Reporting fraud to the police |
| Scotland | Police Scotland: 101 | Reporting fraud to the police |
| UK | FCA consumer helpline: 0800 111 6768 | Checking or reporting investment firms |
| UK | NCSC: forward texts to 7726, emails to [email protected] | Reporting scam messages |
| UK | Citizens Advice | Free advice on scams and next steps |
| US | ReportFraud.ftc.gov and ic3.gov | Reporting romance and investment fraud |
| US | CFTC: cftc.gov/complaint | Trading and crypto investment fraud |
The scale is large. The FBI's IC3 2024 report recorded $672 million in reported losses to confidence and romance fraud and $6.57 billion to investment fraud in the US alone, with people over 60 reporting $4.885 billion in losses across all fraud types.
Common failure patterns
- Believing a small withdrawal proves it is real: fake platforms deliberately let you take out a little money early, according to the CFTC, so you will deposit more.
- Paying a fee to release "profits": fees, taxes and verification charges to unlock an account are part of the scam. The money is already gone.
- Clicking the firm's own link to check it: clone firms send you to a fake page. Always type the FCA register address yourself.
- Keeping it secret: scammers ask for secrecy because a friend or family member would spot the pattern quickly.
- Waiting before calling the bank: embarrassment costs time, and time reduces the chance of stopping a payment.
- Trusting a recovery offer: victims are often targeted a second time, sometimes by the same people.
Scammers increasingly use fake videos and cloned voices to seem real. See the Deepfake and AI Impersonation Guide for how these work.
Practitioner checklist
A simple checklist to keep near your computer or phone:
- I will never send money, gift cards or crypto to someone I have not met in person.
- I keep chats on the dating site or app until we meet.
- I reverse image search new contacts' photos.
- I do not share my full name, date of birth, address or ID documents with people I have only met online.
- I check every investment firm on the FCA Firm Checker and Warning List, using details from the register only.
- I talk to someone I trust before any payment linked to an online relationship or a tip.
- If I have paid, I call my bank on 159 at once, then report to Report Fraud (or 101 in Scotland).
- I ignore anyone offering to recover my money for a fee.
Standards and references
- Financial Conduct Authority: Avoid and report investment scams
- Financial Conduct Authority: Recovery room scams
- Action Fraud: Romance fraud
- Report Fraud: Report cyber crime and fraud
- Payment Systems Regulator: APP scams
- Federal Trade Commission: What to know about romance scams
- Commodity Futures Trading Commission: Relationship investment scams advisory
- FBI Internet Crime Complaint Center: 2024 Internet Crime Report
Related NHI Mgmt Group resources: Cryptocurrency Scam Awareness Guide · Identity Theft Recovery Guide · Social Engineering Guide · Authorised Push Payment (APP) Fraud Guide